Father Of The Blog

Is it a bad omen that National Lampoon’s Vacation aired the night before our family road trip? Clark Griswold I am not and Wally World was not our destination but we did travel across the country to visit Kim’s family in Texas and we did have several mishaps of the mechanical, physical and emotional varieties which I will get too.

The first point of interest on our trip was Memphis Tennessee. We stayed two nights at the Comfort Inn Downtown. A decent hotel for the AAA discounted rate. The only complaint was that the elevator doors closed faster than a spring loaded mousetrap. To avoid injury Olivia and Hailey would swiftly enter the elevator before the doors fully opened without regard for people exiting. One decent amenity is a roof top pool which we cooled off in immediately following our arrival.

Memphis offered loads to do with the kiddos. Beginning our day with a complimentary intercontinental breakfast we were up early ready to explore an unfamiliar city. A block away from our hotel, surrounded by Memphis’s tallest buildings in the business district is a water feature with dozens of dancing fountains. Olivia and Hailey decided to run the gantlet of water geysers and Kim and I were in no hurry, we had an hour to waste before heading over to the Peabody so we let them run wild. Kim walked back to the hotel to get towels and dry clothes. I supervised the unplanned splash off while moving Elizabeth Rose’s stroller back and forth her eyes and attention focused on big sisters getting crazy soaked. My thoughts were on the desolateness of an apparently empty city. Where are all the people in this town at nine in the morning? Sleeping off a Beale street hangover? For fifteen or twenty minutes we were the only people around. Empty electric trolley cars of every color timely whizzed by on the ninety second mark. Thousands of dark reflective windows with no hint of life behind. No cars on the street. Caution tape and orange highway cones blocking traffic near the trolley depot. No sound of birds. The Rapture? That’s what I thought, until a trickle of life sleepily found its way back into the streets. By tenish, dressy business people were walking about, the street vendors appeared and store front owners opened up shop. Olivia, Hailey and I popped into a market for a snack. We got grapes and drinks for our ride over to the Peabody.

The Peabody Ducks. What a production. Every day at eleven o’clock lead by a duck trainer/entertainer a flock of ducks that live in a penthouse suite ride a reserved elevator to the first floor and march down a child lined red carpet to a lavish fountain in the middle of a packed to capacity lobby in the famous Peabody hotel where they swim all day. The kiddos loved it. We hung out for a while, watching the ducks, discussing the book “John Philip Duck” by Patricia Polacco that chronicles the history of the Peabody ducks and then it was off to see the panda bears.

Memphis Zoo was doable for an afternoon activity. The panda’s were great to see, a bit smaller than I expected. When you think panda you just assume giant, right? The Zoo map was legible enough for both Hailey and Olivia to understand and they decided which animals were top priorities. We saw the hippos, the apes and the monkeys, the cats, the big stuff, we had lunch, we rode the carrousel, the kiddos acted like apes on the playground, all within a few hours and it was hot that day too. We had Elizabeth Rose stripped down to a dipper, a liquid shirt of sunscreen and a wide brim sun hat. By three o’clock the kids needed a break. Kim needed a break. I need a bed. We headed back to the Comfort Inn for a rest but the view of Mud Island from the window of our fourteenth floor room beckoned us to keep exploring.

The breeze and the view from the one third mile bridge over to Mud Island was spectacular. We opted out on the monorail and walked it. One awesome feature is a scale model of the Mississippi River, that winds a half mile or so down an educational walkway to a mini lake Pontchartrain and eventually to the mini gulf of Mexico where Kim and I had a disagreement and misunderstanding about whether it was safe or wise to take Elizabeth out on a paddle boat. I was the apprehensive one and Elizabeth and Kim ended up shorelined on their birthday’s Elizabeth Rose five months and Kim thirty five. Of course I was right because these paddle boats were horrible. In fact they should have been called paddle rafts, flat, no seats, the rudder to the rear and tiny pedals. Olivia and Hailey took turns steering and pedaling, we spun around the mini gulf and we struggled to get back to the dock. I was vindicated, Kim didn’t talk to me the two mile walk back to the hotel parking garage where we slumped into the van and hit Beale Street to have dinner and beverages.

Beale Street, a surging current of booze carried in big plastic cups by double fisting party goers was not the best atmosphere for the kiddos so we kept it simple, had dinner and got out of there well before the hard core partying began. Although after that day, doing all of Memphis (minus the Elvis scene) in a single day, a few more frosties were tempting.

We left Memphis the next morning, our destination, Texarkana for a one night stay and in reference to the opening paragraph, the first mechanical malfunction occurred here as we were preparing the van for departure. The little thirteen inch TV/ VCR that we brought along for the girls to watch movies on during the drive would not power on. We made do by occupying ourselves on the drive though Arkansas playing road trip games, I Spy, Animal Guessing Game, a couple of made up on the spot games, we sang songs, listened to the kids CDs, snacked, pointed out interesting scenery like the cityscape of Little Rock and napped. Elizabeth Rose played with dangly toys attached to her safety seat, talked to the family, listened to music and napped.

Hampton Inn Texarkana was a good place to stay before forging on to Galveston which was the longest most grueling day of driving the entire trip. State Highway 59 had many little towns that while nice to see doubled our drive time with all the stops and slowdowns. Another problem on 59 was the lack of rest stops, three hundred miles and only one rest stop with facilities. We ended up stopping for breaks at gas stations which is fine but no place to let the kiddos run and I solved the lack of entertainment problem by playing DVDs from my laptop which eased the little ladies discomfort from being confined in the van for almost eight hours.

Our stay in Galveston was shortened by a mix of incidents between our whole family and Aunt Linda which I will get too. It was six in the evening when we got to Aunt Linda and Uncle Earl Lee’s house near west bay. Their place is nice, right on a channel with big deck and boat launch.  Friday night we toured the house, got settled in, setup the pack and play, I discovered that the canvas rooftop cargo carrier that I borrowed from my mom had shredded from the inside out, Kim made dinner, cleaned up, Olivia and Hailey scrubbed clean in a jacuzzi tub and we made ourselves comfortable.

Saturday Uncle Earl Lee treated us to a boat ride and allowed Olivia and Hailey to take the wheel for a bit. It was both girls first experience on a boat, they were interested in all the water fowl and fish and buoys and markers and traps, they soaked it in. After a morning behind the house on the little dock by the water and a couple hours on the boat we rested up then I took Olivia and Hailey to the community pool. It was crowded with rowdies of all ages and Hailey inadvertently blew the roof off little cabana where the lifeguards slack with her genuine diving board performance. The girls like to jump off diving boards but I have to be relatively close and in the water to assist them if necessary. Hailey usually jumps off the board first and is always hesitant, “Count to three daddy!” I count to three. “No! Four! Count to four!” if the board is a spring board then this line continues to seven or eight. But in this instance it was not a spring board and Hailey inched toward the edge on four, when suddenly, every single pool attendee, little kids, big kids, women, teenagers, men, grandmas, the life guards, all joined together chanting “Jump! Jump! Jump!” Hailey momentarily admired the attention with a big smile then jumped in and surfaced to an eruption of applause.

Sunday, Father’s Day, Aunt Linda and Uncle Earl Lee hosted a party for the family. Cousin Sheri and Michael, Cousin Morgan, Cousin Mikey, Great Uncle Robby and Aunt Lori. When everyone arrived Olivia and Hailey were running around showing off getting a smidge riled up. Aunt Linda told them to calm down and they blew her off. Aunt Linda remarked about the uncontrolled children and I discreetly said something to both Olivia and Hailey in private as not to embarrass them in front of the family. They eventually calmed down and followed Mikey around for a while. He tossed a baiter net into the channel and caught a few dozen little bait fish, the girls were delighted, they scooped ‘em up from the deck and put the little fish in a bucket of water. With the live lures Mikey caught a couple catfish in the channel. Then Uncle Earl Lee and Mikey launched the Kayak and Mikey gave Olivia and Hailey rides. I could not resist the kayak, I tried it and remaining afloat was easy so after acclimating myself in the boat I gave Olivia and Hailey each a turn riding with me.  That is what I will remember from this year’s Fathers Day, taking them out on the Kayak. That was a gift worth the nine hundred mile drive and worth all the trouble to come.

Something was stewing inside Aunt Linda. Being ignored by rambunctious preschoolers, combine that with Texas heat, the wine, the party commotion and house guests that come in and rearranged everything, by four o’clock Aunt Linda stumbled, knocking into the patio door and needed help to her room so she could lie down. This happened during the kayak rides. Later in the evening about six o’clock after all the guests had left, except for cousin Morgan who was planning to spend a couple days with us, Aunt Linda came out of her room in a bad mood. Uncle Earl Lee was in the guest bed room that Olivia and Hailey were staying in dolling out tickles and I think the noise may have roused Aunt Linda. She then made comments about how horribly behaved our children are and insulted Kim’s mothering abilities. Kim didn’t like it and got in Aunt Linda’s face defending herself and the children. Morgan sobbed, reliving some horrible memory and prayed for Aunt Linda to stop. Uncle Earl Lee escorted Aunt Linda out on the patio and verbally let her have it.

Cousin Morgan called her mom Sheri who told her to pack-up all our shit and get out now. I found later in the trip that Cousin Sheri is right 99.9% of the time. We should have taken the advice, instead we decided to forgo the hour and a half drive and stay the rest of the night then head to Sheri and Michael’s house the following day. That was a mistake. Because round two was a couple hours later when Aunt Linda who had already apologized and retired for the night woke back up. I was on the couch in the living room reading a book. Kim was in spare bedroom with Olivia reading Junie B. Jones. Hailey, Elizabeth, Uncle Earl Lee and Morgan were out on the deck saying good night. Aunt Linda informs me she is going to fix up the couch for Morgan to sleep on. I let her know that Morgan decided to sleep in the spare room with Olivia and Hailey, something that was discussed hours ago.  She started screaming about not knowing what’s going on in her own home and stormed off looking for Kim. A carpet of F bombs and other words not intended for children boomed from the spare room and I had to go intervene. Now Aunt Linda insinuating that Kim and the rest of us are being disrespectful ungrateful house guest unknowing that Kim and Morgan cleaned the kitchen from the party even scrubbed the floors. I told Aunt Linda to stop with Kim and asked her as politely as possible what she wanted us to do. She didn’t have an answer and responded with incoherent accusations of ungratefulness. My efforts distracted her long enough for Kim to round up Morgan, the kiddos, the baby and start packing for our immediate departure. But Aunt Linda wasn’t through, her and Kim squared off again by the back patio door. I wasn’t sure who I was going to have to hold back. Verbal jabs tree sawing back and forth, instead of a tree standing between them stood Hailey with a grin on her face enjoying the confrontation. Morgan pleaded with her Nana to stop, effectually dousing the fire. It was nine thirty and by nine forty five we had the van and Morgan’s truck packed and ready to go.

The kiddos were confused. Where are we going? What happened? Why was Mommy crying? Why is mommy driving with Cousin Morgan? Why did Aunt Linda yell at Mommy? I was waiting to hear; what’s #$%$ mean? Olivia kept repeating, “I didn’t even get to finish my Junie B. book.” It took me a minute to realize that is when Aunt Linda started picking on Kim. I told Olivia not to worry and that none of what happened was her fault. She seemed relieved and immediately asked why Aunt Linda yelled at mommy. Well Sweetie. I paused, I wanted to be honest. And then Hailey summed it up perfectly, “She was being mean spirited!”

We arrived at Sheri and Michael’s house around eleven thirty feeling like evacuated refugees’ but Sheri and Michael were inviting and made us feel welcome. Olivia and Hailey got to sleep in Cousin Morgan’s room which was the equivalent of bunking up with their favorite Disney princess. Elizabeth Rose, Kim and I shared a comfy guest room.

Monday we drove back to Galveston, this time to go to the beach. Kim’s dad and his sister Debbie came with us and we had a blast. Elizabeth Rose stayed behind under the watchful eyes of Morgan. It was Olivia and Hailey’s first time at a real beach. They body surfed and tasted the salty water. They built creative sand castles and worked the abundant sands. They beach combed for shells and stuff. A few hours on the beach made the girls hungry and cranky so Kim’s dad took us to a pizza place and then we headed back to Sheri and Michaels.

Tuesday, Sheri took the day off from work and accompanied us to the Houston Zoo. The koala bears were our big game, elusive but we caught a glimpse of one sleeping in a tree. Ya’ll, I need to tell ya, Houston is hawt! A couple hours of walking around in the sweltering heat and humidity and we were done. Hailey and I crashed the neighborhood pool immediately following our return from the zoo. Later that evening we all went to Kim’s favorite restaurant, Fajita Willies and it was good. Mickey won each of the girls a stuffed animal from the arcade which are now the new can’t go anywhere without favorites. Late night, Michael, Mickey and me stayed up watching Hogan’s Heroes.

Wednesday day we hung out playing Nintendo Wii, resupplying necessities at Wal-Mart for the trip home and rested. I think Kim was getting homesick because she morphed into the laundry fairy, washing any article of clothing inside the house. Wii sports is awesome. Olivia beat every opponent she faced in bowling, one game scored 150 and Hailey beat into submission anyone that opposed her in boxing. Our bout, Hailey and I, ended in a controversial 2-1 split decision in Hailey’s favor.

Wednesday night we visited Kim’s dad. He made dinner for us. The girls chased after Mocha Jean. Elizabeth rolled around on a bed sheet. And then, surprise gifts for the girls. Elizabeth Rose got much needed summer clothes. Olivia and Hailey got a portable dual screen DVD player and My Little Pony DVD and Barbie DVD. Touchdown! The perfect gift for our three day journey home.

Thursday morning we left for Baton Rouge. A one night stay at the Sheraton Convention Center and the first part of our journey home. The Sheraton was the least accommodating of all. The online reservation for a room with two beds that I booked was not held for us and we squeezed into a king at a discounted rate plus free buffet breakfast for family.

Friday we drove north through Mississippi stopping for the evening a couple miles from the State line between Tenn. And Miss. at the Drury Inn. I like anyplace that gives three free drinks upon checking in. Kim and I cashed in two each on the happy hour promotion. Olivia and Hailey loved the indoor/outdoor swimming pool, they stayed up late to watch Hanna Montana for the first time, Kim and I enjoyed the two room suite.

Saturday we drove home. Stopped for our final rest stop picnic, Olivia and Hailey gave their last rest stop picnic bench table top song and dance performances.  The road trip was complete with a visit to the pool once we got home. That was our routine, drive six or so hours, check in and go swim. So many other little things happened along the way on this trip. Elizabeth Rose now called Chewie has her first tooth and also had her first accident by rolling off the bed in of all places Baton Rouge. It made me sick to my stomach but she was ok. Olivia lost her second tooth at Cousin Sheri’s. Hailey started a new nickname for Cousin Sheri, Cousin Cherry. Cousin Cherry and Hailey started trouble with an eight year old in the video game room at Fajita Willies.  Many important milestones reached; first time to the beach, first time on a boat, first real road trip, we all gained new skills.

The road trip was almost two weeks long, five nights in four different hotel rooms and several days staying with relatives, five states and two thousand two hundred twenty two miles driven. We enjoyed our company and my family remained a cohesive group throughout the entire vacation, something I am proud of, Olivia, Hailey, Elizabeth Rose and Kim amazed me.

Thank You to family in Texas, Thank You Cousin Cherry, Michael, Morgan and Mikey, Thank You Aunt Linda and Uncle Earl Lee, Thank you Grandpa, we had a great trip.

This book centers around and draws examples from a research study called “Parenting Practices at the Millennium” (PPM). Over 1000 parents and around 650 teenagers were at the core of the study. The book is broken down into four main sections. The first part of the book is an examination of parenting in a gilded age. The middle part of the book analyzes the many pitfalls of indulgent children from self-centered narcissism to self-control issues. The third section of the book is an outline for parental strategies to combat the problems our children face in our permissive society. The last part of the book is a technical reference and endnotes of the PPM study.

Giving too much and expecting too little in return, growing up in the new gilded age and supplying our children with the life skills they’ll need as adults is the context of part one. The author, a PhD of psychology at Harvard, sited a few situations with his patients and related them to the PPM study.

The seven deadly sins of pride, wrath, envy, sloth, gluttony, lust and greed are all spun into the second part of the book. The author reviews several case studies from his professional experience as a psychologist in relation to the PPM study and is combined with religious undertones.

Journey back into childhood and find your inner parent to figure out why you parent your child/children in the particular manner that you do. The third part of the book helps parents to look inside themselves to identify parenting traits also supplies a miniscule amount of practical parenting advice on general topics such as setting limits, giving more attention and being consistent.

The technical appendix and PPM study results are interesting and enlightening. Dozens of variables ranging from average household incomes to effects of family dinner time are examined in relationship to the author’s theories and broken down into easy to understand percentages.

I checked out this book from my local library after seeing an article in Parents magazine that made a reference to it. I would love to give the issue and article however someone, ok my wife, recycled the mag before I could make a note of that. The book contains plenty of staggeringly scary statistics and the inner parent examination is an interesting idea, so I do recommend the book however don’t waste your money on it, go borrow it from the library and skip to the last few chapters. While this book is a yawner there are some nuggets of truth and insightfulness that can help build parental confidence and ability.

Too Much Of A Good Thing
Raising Children of Character in an Indulgent Age
Dan Kindlon, Ph.D.
Published by Talk Miramax Books
Copyright 2001

Each Tuesday during April, Olivia, Hailey and I attended a ‘Mommy and Me’ class at our school district’s early childhood center. Yoga Animal Antics. Too young for the class, Elizabeth Rose sat this one out and luckily my mom was available to watch her.

Each class started off with an animal search and rescue operation. The kids blindly pulled a picture of a missing stuffed animal out of a box and then became responsible for rescuing that “lost” animal.  Once all the hidden animals had been found, the class circled-up for songs, introductions and animal education. All the kids got the green light to go wild mimicking sounds and movements of the animals that they had recovered.

It was then time to do animal impersonations by means of yoga stretches. Each child picked a card that showed an animal and how imitate that animal with a yoga pose. Everyone got a turn leading the class with his or her pose. Cat stretches, down dogs, crab walks and fluttering butterflies, to name a few. The best part of this activity was right at the end, the instructor handed out mini rubber ducks, the kind used for duck races and then we were instructed to lie on our backs and place the duck on our tummies. We had to make the duck go up and down by breathing deeply. Ok, so we were doing shavasan and within seconds of placing the little duck race duck on my stomach I would momentarily fall asleep.

Any parent child class would not be complete without a craft activity and this class was no different. The motif of craft time was wild animals and the favorite had to have been “pigs in the mud,” a couple little people farm pigs tracking chocolate pudding over butcher paper. The class ended with a parachute games and lastly a goodbye song.

I enjoy these classes because, it is less planning for me on daddy days, it is good to get out of the house (before the kiddos destroy it) and we usually learn something new. Olivia, Hailey and I have frequented many of these ‘Mommy and Me’ classes in the past and always have a good experience in doing so. But there is one thing missing from these kinds of classes; the dads. Four years of parent child classes that we have been to only one other dad has been in attendance and he showed with his wife. Note that those were classes during week days.

These parent and child interaction classes aren’t called “Mommy and Me” anymore.  A step in the right direction for a dad who likes to attend such classes and wishes not to feel ostracized by a motley group of alpha mommies. It is hard enough breaking the ice to a room full of glaring women that are wondering what a man is doing with his children in the middle of the work week at mid day committed to a parent child class. Most of the moms are welcoming and warm to the idea of an involved dad in their mist. But there is inevitably a small percent of leery women believing their must be an arterial motive to my presence and these are the ladies that exude the air of exclusion. I don’t let them detour me.

Originally posted on BabyCenter.com 02/03/08

Elizabeth Rose is three weeks old and has colic. She cries, she fusses and she fidgets. She has the quiver lip, a gaping mouth howl and an ear splitting screech.  Her body stiffens, her legs thrash, and her arms riffle. She is having a fit in my lap right now. Three to four hours of screaming a day which is about half of her waking hours keeps Kim and I rabid, barking at each other over trivial stuff.

On the flip side, Elizabeth Rose is the sweetest, cuddliest, cooiest, already saying “da” iest, little bundle of amazement. She makes heart-warming smiles and has the cutest most perfect spiral of life belly button. She is observant, intensely she focuses on the multi textured brightly colored C-shaped link together toy things that I rattle in front of her. Today while in her hand-me-down portable swing, she clutched and pulled down those same linky-chains that Olivia had draped around the top of the swing.

Kim and I have different styles to deal with the crying bouts. Kim gingerly scoops-up Elizabeth Rose tenderly swinging, swaying, lightly bouncing, digging a path throughout the house while shush, shush, shushing her. Kim will change Elizabeth Rose’s position, pat her, rub her, sing to her, and hum to her. Kim exhausts every effort for hours at a time attempting to sooth Elizabeth Rose.

My approach is more of a cave-man style. When Elizabeth Rose’s high-pitched noises start to emanate I will grab her and check her basic needs. Sniff first then look in the diaper and take action if necessary. I’ll ask Kim when the last time she was fed and take care of that if need be. I’ll try the Boppy Sling and occasionally that will suffice. I’ll carry her around the house football style. But I can only take fifteen to twenty minutes before I give in and lay her in her crib and let her cry herself to sleep or until an hour or so passes and Kim will eventually pick her up and run through all of her bag of tricks.

Kim and I are cagey colic veterans. Hailey, once known as Hailey Wailiey, had colic invetro. Yes, I know that’s not possible, but that’s what I tell everyone. It did seem like from the moment Hailey was born she started crying and didn’t stop until she was six months old. From six months until two years of age Hailey was super sensitive and a read-every-parental-guidance-self-help-book-from-the-library challenge. She still has irritability issues, for instance the stitching on her socks must be lined up just right, if not she will get upset, yell at anyone within earshot, peel the sock or socks off, refuse assistance and is irate until she gets the socks on just the way she likes. If I attempt to help, I must quickly dodge a flying shoe or shoes. I have a saying that I have been drilling into her head for a long time to counter her irrational sock-hops, “Hailey, Sweetie, there are lots of little bumps in life. You need to get used to those little bumps.” I have come to realize that control is her motivation for the majority of her out-busts at this point in her life.

Elizabeth Rose cry’s hard, but her colic pales in comparison to Hailey’s six month long scream-feast. In fact, Kim was so shell-shocked by Hailey’s everlasting emotional storm, it took me over two years to convince Kim that it would be impossible to bear two children with colic. There goes my credibility.

Originally posted on BabyCenter.com 01/25/08
The ride to Olivia and Hailey’s Preschool takes two minutes. In that short amount of time we have our best discussions. Every school day morning we hustle out the door and to my car. I strap ‘em in their seat belts, unwrap then handout chewy granola bars, I get in, pull out of the driveway and I say, “Does anyone have any questions for daddy today?”
Before I finish asking the question, preemptively Hailey will say, “I gotta go potty!”
Olivia will quickly correct her younger sister, “that’s not a question Hailey!”
A brief silence follows and then Olivia will throw the first question out.
 
Monday morning:
Olivia: “Are you going to die daddy?”
Me: “One day Honey, nobody lives forever.” Small pause. “Well sweetie, that’s what life is. You live and then you die.” Silence. “Everyone, everything, eventually expires.”
Olivia: “Where will you go daddy?”
Me: “We all go back to God Honey and we will be with all our relatives who have passed away.”
Hailey, with a hint of worry: “Don’t go Daddy.”
Me: “Don’t worry Kiddos, hopefully, daddy will be around for a long time”
Olivia: “When is our new playground (for the preschool) going to be finished Daddy?” She inquired as we drove by the construction site and pulled into the parking lot of their school.
 
Wednesday Morning: (Tuesday is daddy day, no school).
Olivia: “Is Father Sky the same as god?”
This was a tricky one and I didn’t think two minutes was enough time to explain the theory’s of First People’s (Native American) beliefs. “Sort of Sweetie.”
Olivia: “What about Mother Earth?” I tell Olivia and Hailey a handful of times throughout the day not to waste Mother Earth’s precious resources. Switch the lights off, don’t let the water run, recycle, those sorts of things.
Me: “Well Honey, God created Mother Earth.”
Olivia: “And Father Sky too?”
Me: “Yes Sweetie, God created everything in the universe”
Olivia: “What’s the Universe?”
Me: “It is everything we know honey. All the stars, our sun, the planets, the Earth, everything.”
Olivia: “Everything?”
Me: “Yup. Everything.” Momentary pause. “Hey look, the diggers are all lined up in a row today.”
 
Thursday morning:
Olivia: “When are we going to the Hairy Elephant with Aunt Marni?” Marni is a friend of Kim’s and the Hairy Elephant is a kids’ salon. When Marni came to visit Kim in the hospital during her recovery from the birth of Elizabeth Rose, Marni had told Kim that she would take Olivia and Hailey to get their hair and nails done. This promise was sparked due to a missed birthday party at a different kids’ salon because Olivia had chicken pox. The salon date with Marni was supposed to be this past weekend and she had to cancel the hair and nail appointment.  Rewind one week, Tony, Marni’s husband had switched jobs and the company he was hired on too lost its two biggest clients on Tony’s first day of work. They had to let Tony go. Financially concerned, Marni opted for a play date at her house with her two boys Spenser and Tyler.
Me: “Well Sweetie, you and Hailey went to Marni’s house to play with Spenser and Tyler instead of going to the Hairy Elephant.”
Olivia: “But I wanted to go to the Hairy Elephant.”
Me: “Marni had to cancel the appointment Honey.” Silence. “Well sweetie, Uncle Tony lost his job and now they don’t have money.” Quiet. “They have to be able to buy food and pay for their house and pay for heat to stay warm.” Olivia has been drilled on the economics of why Kim and I have to work.
Olivia: “I will give Aunt Marni my Tzedakah” Tzedakah is charity. Olivia and Hailey put spare change into their own hand painted Tzedakah boxes as part of our traditional Friday night Shabbat dinner. Just last week we noticed how heavy the Tzedakah boxes were getting and had discussed what charities were worth giving too.
Hailey:  “I will give my Tzedakah to Tyler”
Me: “That is a great idea Kiddos, you guys are so thoughtful,” I was so proud of them and their idea, I wanted to go on and on and tell them what caring, sweet and compassionate little girls they are, but instead, “Hey look, the diggers are still lined up.”
 
The two minute drive to preschool is the most anticipated part of my day. What will tomorrow’s conversation be? I’m not sure, but I am looking forward to it.

Originally posted on BabyCenter.com 01/16/08 

A month ago, Kim and I were cleaning out our bedroom closet, packing up the non-essentials getting ready for the move to our new house. During the closet clean-sweep I found an old favorite Blues (Hockey Team) hat. Fashioned in the ball cap variety with fading team colors of blue, red and gold, the billed still curved tightly with greasy finger prints all over it. The old hat had been stuffed into a corner and forgotten. I wore that hat daily throughout my college years and even up until Kim and I bought the house that we were now getting ready to sell. I put the old beat up hat on. I figured that it would slide right on without any adjustments and fit perfectly, but I was wrong. It was tight, chaffy and felt unbroken, kinda like new, when I first tried it on so many years ago. Kim asked me if I need to keep the bruised hat. If not, then to get rid of it, but instead I stashed it deep within the box we were packing, un-wanting to give it up and hoping one day it may fit again.
 
Under Contract
Speaking of our move, we have another contract and this time around we agreed on a price. So now we are waiting for the buyer’s financial commitment and awaiting the outcome (the bad news) from the building inspector. If all goes smoothly we will be handing over our keys to new occupants in five weeks. Olivia and Hailey mention the move every day now “Are we moving to Bubie’s today?” It will be good for them, more room to play, quiet cul-de-sac and a big back yard.
 
A day? A Week!
It has been one week since the birth of Elizabeth Rose but it feels like one long day since I have yet to sleep for more than three hours at a stretch. I’m on paternity leave and wishing it could be permanent although by next week I think I will be ready to get back to work. There is only so much laundry, vacuuming, dishes, and clean-up I can do before pleading domestic insanity. Today was Elizabeth Rose’s one week check-up and I took her to see the pediatrician. My baby is doing great. Her hips look good, (something breech babies have issues with), she has topped her birth weight by .1 of an ounce and besides frequent wet-burps during feedings she appears to be in spectacular health.
 
Shopping With Daddy
After the doctor put the seal of approval on Elizabeth Rose, we had a little excursion to Babies R Us for her first shopping trip. She can’t even talk yet and she cleaned me out. A cute purple on purple polka-dot zip-up sleeper, the girl has to have some new clothes. A couple pink hoody-towels, the hand-me-down towels are scratchy and frayed. A girly colors pack of face cloths, the hand-me-downs are grotesquely stained and have lost their fluffiness. Three new 9oz Vent Aire plastic bottles and a pack of old-school Gerber nipples, she collapses the nipples that come with the Vent Aire bottles and yes I know where she should have the nipple in her mouth. A new Boppy sling, our old sling was once willed to my sister Rachel, been through countless infants and its original color no longer recognizable, not to mention that it is back-wrenchingly uncomfortable. And a manly, well as manly as you can get for a diaper-bag, Columbian brand diaper-back-pack, my old pack has had it, the zippers unfunctionally tattered, the stretchy mesh on either side no longer able to hold its contents and a shredded gaping hole in the center divider. A ten minute showing of Elizabeth Rose’s new goodies ensued upon our return home and then Kim asked, “Did you get the lollypops you promised Olivia and Hailey [from doctor’s office]?” No, I forgot to grab a couple free lollies for my two big girls and spent a fortune on Elizabeth Rose, I thought I was being a good dad, but I failed.
 
Old Hat Feels New
Much like my old grungy Blues hat, I figured Elizabeth Rose would automatically fit, I wouldn’t have to make any adjustments and I could keep parenting, business as usual. I have forgotten many little things since the last go around. It took a week to get my diaper changing technique down and I’m rusty slow still getting peed on. Once a master, I forgot how to swaddle, I can’t seem to figure out my old method and in the mean time, rolling her up like a burrito. Her first bath which Olivia and Hailey eagerly helped with, I forgot to uncork the infant tub while rinsing off Elizabeth Rose nearly submerging her. Every child comes with a whole new set of challenges as well as the same old routine demands. They create a completely different dynamic in the family and unlike my old Blues hat Elizabeth Rose can’t be tucked away for future considerations. I have to get comfortable with my beautiful delicate infant and figure out how to make her fit. But it won’t take long, it is old hat.

Originally posted on BabyCenter.com 1/12/08 

Number Three is here; well I suppose I can call her by her given name now that she has one, Elizabeth Rose. Eli, or Lizzie, or Beth for short, whatever suits her best, we will see. She is beautiful, a round face, dimple in her chin, inch long muddy brown hair, one ounce shy of seven pounds, nineteen and a half slender inches. She is already competing with her siblings and wanted to make sure that her delivery was the most memorable.

Thursday night I was up until 2:30 am. Wired from an earlier Hockey game I couldn’t sleep and needed to get a ton of website stuff completed so I stayed up hacking away. When I silently slinked into bed Kim woke up to go to the bathroom and shouted at me for staying up way too late. She couldn’t fall back asleep, flipped on the TV and within a half hour she was breathing hard, grunting, groaning and having consistent contractions. At 4:30 she came out of the bathroom and said “I’m Bleeding!” Instantly, wide awake again,  I jumped out of bed and started getting everything ready to go; her bag, the camera, insurance cards, IDs, laptop, jackets and warmed up the car. She paged her doctor. He called back within ten minutes and said to get going to the hospital. My Mom was on stand-by to come over and watch Olivia and Hailey, she lives a half mile from us and twenty minutes after I called her, she leisurely showed up with a full pot of coffee in her hands, “We waited for coffee to brew!” Impatiently I shouted. Then as we were pulling out of the driveway I see my mom through the kitchen window waving her arms to get my attention. I stopped, then waited another precious minute to see what was so important, “Your lights!” she shouted from the garage.

“Like I wouldn’t have figured that out!” I screamed at her. Even when my mother is doing me a favor I get irritated with her. It is so unfair to her, but I can’t help it. I slammed the van back into reverse and careened down the driveway sideswiping the trash can on my way. I just left it in the street.

We arrived at the hospital right around 5am. The attending nurse in the Woman’s Evaluation Unit performed an exam, said that Kim was dilated to three, was going to page her doctor and issued orders for Kim to get into a Labor and Delivery room. What the nurse failed to realize was that the baby was bottom down breech. Kim labored for a few hours and around 7:45am Kim’s doctor came in to do a “quick check” She was four or five, but he failed to notice the breech. Kim received a much needed epidural as soon as her doctor left. A couple of hours sped by until Kim’s contractions were a minute apart and she was feeling a lot of pressure. At 10:30 her water popped and loads of meconium thick as engine sludge started leaking out with all the fluids, the bed pad looked like the Le Brea Tar Pit. Kim paged the nurse and she came in to clean-up and do another exam. The nurse said Kim was dilated to ten but she needed to do a quick ultra sound because she thought Kim was breech and wanted to double check. It was then that the nurse realized Elizabeth was breech and from then on, all hell broke loose.  Within an hour, the anesthesiologist, several nurses, a couple techs and an infant care specialist were scrambling to get Kim to the operating room. Kim was understandably upset, crying and extremely scared. She didn’t anticipate the c-section at all. Elizabeth came out bottom first (yes, I looked), folded like a taco, her feet scratching the back of her head. She gave one good last kick on her way out, spraying blood all over the doctor.

Both Elizabeth and Kim made it ok.  I am so happy they are healthy, proud to be a daddy again and just ephing exhausted.

Stay at home dad this past Tuesday with Olivia, Hailey and Elizabeth Rose lesson learned:
Setting up the tone, “Daddy Days Are Here Again” to the song “Happy Days Are Here Again.”  Olivia has a superb new addition to her morning routine, journaling. From the kitchen table she sketches in a spiral bound Strawberry Shortcake branded notebook, supplying me with a brief dictation of the journal entry, currently a narrative mermaid epic, I hastily inscribe a sentence or two. She enjoys creating pictures and appreciates the short bit of time we spend discussing the drawings on a mature level that Hailey either understands and is uninterested or she doesn’t yet comprehend the abstraction. Hailey’s Care Bear note book occasionally gets used and she will scrawl prolific ‘scribble scrabble’ a dub from her big sister. The scribble scrabble is fresh and expressive. I write copy pertaining to Hailey’s Star, or Snakes, or Fish, or Whales and once I received no expletive, instead artistic silence.

During a breakfast of bagels and cream cheese we discussed the dreary rainy morning. I suggested we go to our community center to make use of the dues we pay and visit the indoor pool. Hailey jumped on the idea and Olivia half heartedly agreed. Free swim wasn’t until noon, so after cleaning up from meal number one of the day, Elizabeth Rose ended up in her crib for nap number one of the day, then it was game time. Hungry Hungry Hippos, Fishing Around, Little (or Littlest) Pet Shop, Hi Ho Cherry O’, Melisa and Doug’s Magnetic Dress Up Princess, honestly, I opted-out on that last one, preparing three backpacks for the pool instead.

At noon the clouds had blown over and the spring sun worked to burn off the dampness. I was feeding Elizabeth Rose bottle number two of the day and Olivia and Hailey were finishing up meal number three of the day. (They snacked on granola shortly after breakfast).  Anticipating our departure for the pool, they were bouncing all over the place, so I sent them to their room to prepare for swimming. Elizabeth Rose had me temporarily immobilized which meant I had to verbally remind them that if they wanted to go to the pool they needed to, “put on swimsuits and get dressed. Socks and Crocks.” Fifteen minutes later, Elizabeth Rose belched out a deep baritone that a horn three times her size would not be able to register. All the little ducky’s in a row and we were out the door.

Twenty minutes later, Olivia and Hailey are disrobing in the locker room.
Me: “Hailey? Did you forget to put your swimsuit on?” She had stripped down to her Hello Kitty’s.
Hailey: Silent.
Me: “Olivia?” She had one arm out of her jacket. “Did you put your swim suit on?”
Olivia: “Ohhh… Daaadeee…”
Hailey: “Daddy! You got my swimsuit?!”
Me: “No Hailey. I don’t”
Hailey: “You put them in my bag!? [backpack]”
Olivia: “Ohhh…Daaadeee!”
Both Olivia and Hailey: “You packed the bag!” I usually stuff my green gym bag with all our swim gear, this time I chose to force them to be a bit more responsible and self sufficient, relying on their back packs. Truthfully, I needed one more hand and one less encumbrance while shuffling Elizabeth Rose around.

Hailey’s distress could be heard throughout the lock room. So close to the pool, the chlorine vapors wafted in, to mix with her cries. I reasoned her out of the emotional furry relatively swiftly by telling her that I knew she wanted to go swimming and that I understood her dissatisfaction. I was on the verge of promising that we could swiftly retrieve their suits and return faster than superman spinning the earth backwards. But I didn’t
Hailey: “We coming back Daddy?”
Me: “No Hailey. We will miss swim.” Hailey did not like my answer and started breaking down again.
Me: “We can do something else” I wasn’t sure what. Pause.
Olivia: “The park?”
Me: “Yes! good idea Sweetie” I had a hunch she may have wanted this. She made a reference to the park during meal number one.
Hailey: “I want to go swimming!”
Me: “Hailey. We can’t do a thing hanging around in this locker room.” That reasoned with her just enough.
Olivia: “C’mon Hailey, we can go to the park. Daddy said.” One of Olivia strengths is in helping her own cause. I was eager to ally and the timing was brilliant.
Me: “What park Hailey?”
Hailey: “I want to go swimming!”
Me: “Well Honey, we have to get to the car before we can do anything, please get dressed, we will talk about it on the way to the car.”
It took Hailey a few minutes to collect herself; Olivia, Elizabeth and I were patient. We slowly made our way out of the building, a preschooler’s walk of shame, across the parking lot to my vehicle and in that time Hailey had agreed with the change in plans.

The park consumed the remainder of the afternoon. Elizabeth Rose napped (number three if you count the ten minute car ride to the park), tucked in the Bjorn. Hailey forgot about swimming as soon as her feet hit the spongy play surface running wild filling her body with fresh spring air. Olivia made friends with a couple of kids in the sand pit, coordinating a dinosaur bone excavation. Obviously those are merely the highlights. They played hard for a good three hours.

Disappointments are tough to sort through especially when under fire. What if I had caved to Hailey’s demands by bending to the will of my children? Would I have been a hero, (retrieving the forgotten swimsuits), rescuing them from misfortune? Or would I be enabling irresponsibility? Explaining to Kim the missed swim opportunity situation at the dinner table that night both Olivia and Hailey (meal number five) said they forgot to put their suits on.

Originally posted on BabyCenter.com 09/27/07 

Kim’s Tree
Kim’s origins are rooted in Houston, her whole family lives there, except for Nana (Kim’s mom). Over due by three years for a visit, Cousin Morgan’s high school graduation was as good as any reason for us to fly down and check in on the family.

Kim booked five non-stop round trip tickets on southwest airlines for herself, Olivia, Hailey, Nana, me and thirteen pieces of luggage. Everything about the flight went smoothly, a quick take-off, hardly any turbulence and a flawless landing. It was Hailey’s first time on an airplane and she belted out a big “whoaaaa” during take off. The kiddos quietly occupied themselves by watching movies on my laptop, munching endlessly on a feed-bag of junk and crafting cards for all their relatives.

Olivia’s Carbon Footprint on Hailey
Departing from our airport at the curbside check Olivia held Hailey back from exploring into the five minute passenger drop off avenue, which is ridiculously close to the security kiosk, while Kim, Nana and I dug out our ID’s and e-conformations. Olivia involuntarily buddied-up with Hailey and they strode through the airport hand in hand on the way to the gate, rolling back packs in tow. At the security check, Olivia made sure Hailey took her shoes off, showed her how to place all her belonging in the plastic container and then how to send it through the scanner. She had Hailey line up for the metal detector and told her to go one at a time. One might think that Olivia has traveled via airplane a hundred plus times seeing her instructive behavior while jumping through all the hoops at the airport. The truth is, she has been on an airplane only two other times; recently to Utah with me for a ski trip and on our last family trip to Texas when she was ten months old.

Hailey has an adaptive learning style, partly kinesthetic and mostly visual. Sure, she has learned a few important rules from mom, dad and from an assortment of caregivers. Predominantly she parrots her older sister. For instance, at around eighteen months old, following Olivia’s lead, Hailey started using the potty. She didn’t hear one bit of direction on the finer points of using the potty from Kim nor me. She refused the training bucket thing, she wanted to be like her sister and use the Dora training seat on the ‘big’ toilet. She wouldn’t accept any help getting on the ‘big’ toilet, climbing on herself, even if it took her two or three attempts. And recently, through Olivia’s example; Hailey has ditched wearing night time pull-ups, refusing to put them on anymore. She is not even three, she can’t hold it throughout the night and she is unable to wake herself to use the potty. We try to rouse her before we go to sleep but she will not get out of bed. So, what do we do? You guessed it, we let her sleep in her own urine or until she calls for mommy or daddy to dry her off at three in the morning. Ok, that only happened once, then we bought a mattress pad and a plastic liner.

Houston Hobby
While Kim, Nana and I claimed our tower constructed from suitcases, Olivia showed Hailey how to sit on top of the luggage carousel and ride from one end of the baggage claim area to the other. Olivia helped Hailey on her inaugural journey via airplane without a fight and with little guidance from the adults. Is Olivia a good teacher or does she like to control Hailey? I’m not sure, but Hailey enjoys big sister’s constant instruction, care and attention.

Thirteen suitcases teetering high on a bag-cart slightly impaired my vision. Relying on sound recognition I blindly followed our entourage through Houston Hobby, squeezing by groups of people, through entryways, corridors and elevator doors, praying for the luggage not to topple.

We made it to the car rental shuttle depot without incident, the luggage held, next time I will pack a bungee cord to secure the bags to the cart. The shuttled bus snaked through the airport’s access roads as Olivia and Hailey bounced from seat to seat. A light drizzle started coming down as the shuttle pulled up to a light blue van. I had requested a Grand Caravan with two built-in five-point-harness child restraints, which was offered at no extra charge. I opened the van’s sliding door to find a standard bench seat, thanks Budget, not to worry I came prepared and quickly procured two booster seats, one from large rolling duffel and the other from my hockey bag. Thankfully the van had latch and with a snap we were sheltered from the rain and on our way to Aunt Linda’s and Uncle Earl Lee’s.

Day I
Aunt Linda and Uncle Earl Lee live in a gated community. Their home is condo-esque, with neighboring houses tightly squeezed together. The great thing about staying with Aunt Linda and Uncle Earle Lee is that they own the house directly across the quiet cul-de-sac from their home. So, we get our own place to spread out and enjoy.

After ‘moving in’ we were able to enjoy the rest of the day. Cousin Morgan brought us lunch and she played with the kiddos for a few hours. The isolated misting had blown over and the sun came out in time for us to check out the neighborhood pool until dinner. It was a long day, no naps, we tried to get the girls in bed early, eight o’clock, however there was a bit of confusion on exactly where Olivia and Hailey were going to sleep. First we tried the loft. They weren’t comfortable up there. I moved both their twin mattresses down to the living-room where they discovered that the loft was much better. Back up the stairs I obediently followed carrying both mattresses. We planned on a short story-time which ended-up running ten books long (every book they brought with them) and then they jumped from one mattress to the other for over an hour before finally crashing out after ten.

Day II
Grandpa
This is a tough subject. What do you say about the person who calls his daughter the day before her wedding to say that he can’t make it? Someone who has two granddaughters that he has not once come to visit. I could go on with a dirty laundry list but I must refrain. I don’t know the historic details between Grandpa and Nana (Kim’s mom), I’m sure it wasn’t pretty. I try not to pry, although when Kim was pregnant with Olivia, I attempted to dig a bit; Kim and I were looking through Nana’s dusty photo albums. The early 70’s pictures of Nana are out of character. Usually fun-loving and out-going these set of pictures represent a gloomy person. I questioned Kim about one particular unsmiling photo of Nana; pregnant with Kim, Nana’s arm loosely wrapped around Kim’s dad, the only photo I’ve seen of Nana and Grandpa together. Kim’s explanation, Nana was embarrassed by her adult braces.

Our first full day in Houston we had plans with grandpa, (minus Nana). I am cordial, respectful and optimistic when we are with Kim’s father. Warning flip-flop alert: He is actually an interesting person to hang around with. He’s comical, opinionated, a conversationalist, with a hint of chauvinism. He could be the perfect drinking or golfing buddy. He and his current girlfriend Helen took us to NASA’s Johnson Space Center. It was my idea. I’ve been to Houston one too many times without seeing what was to be the vehicle of Apollo 18, the Saturn V Rocket.

Space Center Houston
Space Center Houston is the visitors’ center at JSC and has a vibe of something between a spaceport hangar / mission control / science center. We were greeted by a massive floor to ceiling at least thirty feet tall play structure. ‘Kids Space Place’ enticed Olivia and Hailey, they spent close to an hour exploring the multilevel kid sized habit trail. They stopped at an air gun trench to launch plastic balls at unknown yet shocked and awed adversaries. They tested and re-tested a robotic arm controller several dozen times, and the three-story triple-cork-screw slide was so tempting Kim had to try it.

Next we checked out “Grossology” a (possibly traveling) hands-on exhibit trumpeting all that is slimy, stinky, and yucky. An interactive jeopardy-parodied quiz show was enlightening. Plenty of nasty bug stuff to examine. The cow intestinal tracking system was a bit too much information. It was the kind of stuff that makes a great conversation base with the kiddos.

We spent another hour hopping through the half dozen galleries of space related exhibits and then our little ladies became viciously hungry. Grandpa suggested a short ride down the road to Kemah Boardwalk a seaside amusement area with a couple good places to get lunch. Everyone was on board with that, however in that instant my dream of seeing the Saturn V disintegrated. So close and denied… Insert; ‘story of my life’ here.

Kemah Boardwalk
The kiddos hurried through lunch which was not much of a break for anyone then we headed to the funfair area. Olivia and Hailey experienced their first Farris Wheel ride and it was unbelievable. Labeled ‘Century Wheel’ although I don’t think it was 100 feet tall, the scene overlooked Clear Lake Shores off Galveston Bay. Olivia, Hailey and I were the only ones who opted to ride the wheel. It stopped at the top for a moment, the basket swayed with the wind and Olivia asked “Is that the Ocean down there?” How could I tell her it wasn’t?

Pump It Up
The day was far from over. We had bummed around the boardwalk for a little longer then took Grandpa and Helen home. Cousin Morgan reserved a free, hour long, private room for us at the Pump It Up where she was employed. They climbed, slid, jumped, and jousted non-stop for the entire hour. We like the bouncy type places and even I get into the action. Cousin Mikey challenged, eluded and embarrassed me on the mushroom topped jousting platform. The day was another action packed, no nap, up till ten o’clock night. I think Kim and I were asleep before the kiddos.

Day III
The Toy Donkey Whisperer(s)
Not a toy donkey, a miniature donkey, a real one. Kim’s cousin Karen owns one and a horse with a bit of land too. Our whirlwind tour of the Texas family continued with a visit to Karen’s place. Uncle Earl Lee and Cousin Morgan (Earl Lee is Morgan’s grandfather) came along with us. Olivia and Hailey have ridden on small carnival horses a couple times at local fairs so they were merely semi-excited to ride the miniature donkey. Although once we got to the stable and acquainted with the animals they livened-up.

Olivia and Hailey felt comfortable on the miniature donkey named ‘Itty Bitty Banker’ but both didn’t like being on the fully grown equine. I can’t blame them. The beast was huge and a bit ornery. I was glad that Uncle Earl Lee and Cousin Morgan were close-by to assist when the kiddos took their brief turns ‘riding’ the steed.

A cool swift moving rain shower passed over stranding us in the stable for a while. Itty Bitty Banker received the brushing of its life from Olivia and Hailey. They petted, preened and fussed over the mini donkey until a break in the rain gave us time to dash back to Karen’s office where we had parked. Itty Bitty Banker tailed Olivia and Hailey almost the whole length of the field and seemed sadden by the departure of its new friends.

Day IV
Graduation
Cousin Morgan’s high school class was close to five hundred students and she was selected by her peers to lead the state anthem during the opening ceremonies. The graduation proceeded swiftly, only two hours long, which was way past the kiddos stay in one place for too long limit. But they kept themselves busy by visiting all their relatives, first Chris and his wife Glenda, jumping to cousin Rob and his wife Lori, skipping to aunt Linda and uncle Earl Lee, bouncing to cousins Sherri and Michael (Morgan’s mom and dad), plowing through to cousin Karen and her mother Ann, bounding over to Nana and sneaking up on cousin Mikey.

After the graduation we all met for lunch. The restaurant we met at was a cross between petting zoo / play ground / eatery and it was fun. After our meal we went outside to play, pet the animals and see the peacocks (Hailey’s favorite animal). As soon as we settled into a huge sandbox it started to pour down rain. The sand pit was situated under a pavilion so we weren’t getting wet, but once again, we were stranded out in the rain. Sure the restaurant was a twenty yard dash away but we were dry and the kiddos were content with the situation so I put my arm around Kim and we waited it out.

That evening Morgan and her immediate family had one thousand parties to attend. We all went our separate ways for the night. Nana went to visit some old friends. Kim, the kiddos and I met-up with Grandpa, Helen and her youngest college aged daughter at the local Chucky Cheese for an evening of instant gratification.

Day V
Party
Cousin Morgan had a Family and Friends Graduation Party the following day and it was great visiting with everyone. Michael and Sheri opened up their home, providing yummy edibles. The family congregated out in the garage reminiscing, updating and gossiping about things I can’t pen. Olivia and Hailey nursed blue frosting cup cakes all party long leaving blue kiss marks on anyone willing to receive one.

Departure
It was sad to go, especially since we had to leave the party in its prime to catch our flight home. Morgan got upset when it was time to say goodbye to her little side kicks and I couldn’t thank uncle Earl Lee and aunt Linda enough for their gracious hospitality all while Kim sabotaged our tightly scheduled itinerary by lingering several ‘one last’ goodbyes to everyone.

Where was Nana? She stayed in bed sick at aunt Linda’s that day. Possibly a nasty stomach virus, she flew home the next day and didn’t feel well for a week after.

Vacation Termination
The ride to the airport rental car return depot was rainy and somber. The airport was surprisingly crowded but the kiddos didn’t act antsy. Olivia reminded Hailey to touch the outside of the plane near the entry hatch for good luck as we boarded. The typically bumpy ride back home from Houston was smooth.

Bubie (my mom) picked us up from the airport and was surprised by Nana’s absence. We were home and unpacked within an hour of touchdown. Olivia and Hailey were beat-up, speaking in tongues, spastically jabbing fists and feet at anything within a two foot radius, struggling to keep moving. No nap and insufficient sleep for five days, it was like watching the terminator in its final hour.

Our Little Secret
Is this a coincidence; our last three trips to Texas Kim has been (and currently is) pregnant? Kim and I sat on this secret the entire trip. Kim did an ept test the day before we left, she was one week late. A faded blue line appeared. She called her doctor to make an appointment which obviously she couldn’t see him until after our trip so we decided not to tell anyone. Besides, we like secrets.

Originally posted on BabyCenter.com 06/15/07 

I call Olivia and Hailey kiddos all the time, mostly not to confuse them and god forbid, accidentally call them by the wrong name. “How was school today kiddo?” or “Bed time kiddo, lights out.” or “Morning kiddo, how are ya?” you get the point. On Thursday’s the kiddos attend a half day at preschool, nine to three. Two months out of three, Olivia has swim lessons after preschool which takes place on the schools campus at an indoor pool. It’s nice because that gives Hailey and me some one-on-one time, we go to the park or play in the gymnasium at her school or go to the ice cream parlor for an hour before it is time to pick-up Olivia.

Hailey and I were picking up Olivia from swim class, we just had ice cream. We parked the car, traversed through the labyrinth of hallways at the main building of their school and waited for Olivia outside the women’s locker room, correction I waited outside the locker room and Hailey went in to tell her sister we were there to pick her up. As always, when Olivia and Hailey emerge from the locker room they competitively race through the building, ignore security door protocols, climb up two lengthy flights of stairs and zoom past the main entry membership check area, all of that, to be the first one to press the handicap door button which fascinates them. The door opens, must be magic.

Lately, they have been competing for everything, who can get into the car first, who can get dressed first, who can wash their hands before a meal first, who can push the button first, etc, etc etc. The winner gloats and the looser will either throw a fit or proclaim, “It is not a competition!” Good sportsmanship is a concept preached daily too them, yet to be learned.

Back to the story: The kiddos clambered into the car; I buckled Hailey in then walked to the other side of the Forester to strap Olivia in her seat. She reached into my front shirt pocket and seized my sunglasses. I let her play with ‘em, just a cheap pair. She slid my sunglasses on her face and in her deepest possible voice said “It’s dark out kiddos.” I couldn’t help from laughing hysterically. Olivia started cracking-up too and Hailey was a bit puzzled as to what was so funny. I asked Olivia to tell repeat what she had said for her sister and the cognation of laughter continued the whole drive home.

I had been mocked by my own daughter. It was creatively funny, she spontaneously crafted the phrase, however I have a bad feeling that my impromptu hysteria will only lead to further mockeries.